Ten Reasons to Join a Gym

10. You’ll spend so much money on your gym membership each month, you won’t have money to eat fast food.

9. If you love looking at yourself, especially when you’re not wearing make-up, the gym’s plentitude of mirrors will not disappoint!

8. When your kids are acting crazy, you have a babysitter for an hour or so–assuming you can actually get your crazy kids ready and in the minivan before childcare closes.

7. The thrill of competition! Keep moving up the speed of the treadmill every time the person next to you does. It’s always fun to find out that the lady 20 years your senior is in better shape than you.

6. You can make friends, that is if you go to the gym consistently enough and at the same time to meet up with the other 1% of people who keep a set routine.

5. You no longer will have an excuse to be completely uninformed about the state of the world–the news on the TV and the disgruntled man on the bike next to you will give you all the soundbites you need to engage in a thoughtful conversation.

4. You’ll get a great aerobic workout walking laps around the gym while looking at all the weight machines you’d like to try when everyone else leaves.

3. After a great workout, you have justification to eat the huge bowl of homemade macaroni and cheese waiting for you in the refrigerator.

2. The gym’s a great place to try the technique of “muscle confusion“–you know, go to the gym one week, then skip the next.

1. It sounds impressive to say, “I know I need to clean this nasty floor, but I’m going to the gym because I really want to stay healthy and fit for my children.” Whatever works, right?

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10 Signs That Your 4-Year-Old is Smarter Than You or Your Spouse

10. During lunch your 4-year-old informs you that the strawberries you are eating are the only fruit that has seeds on the outside, and you realize for the first time that those little things on strawberries are seeds.

9. When you tell your 4-year-old that you’re not exactly sure how the doctor got his baby sister out of your tummy, he replies exasperated, “Mom! You were there!“

8. Your 4-year-old has tested your understanding of the Trinity by asking, “How did Jesus make people when He was a baby here (as in ‘not in heaven’)?” You are tempted to just tell him about sex instead.

7. When his sister says she sees a cow as you drive by a pasture, your 4-year-old exclaims, “I see a Yak!” Your husband and you then spend five minutes debating with each other what a yak is.

6. You scold your four-year-old for disconnecting the wires from his daddy’s speakers and then watch attentively as he rewires them.

5. You didn’t know how to use the ipod on your iphone until your four-year-old showed you.

4. You thought you showed your four-year-old who’s boss by throwing out the rest of his Easter candy after he repeatedly snuck treats only to find out that he anticipated your moves and hid his own reserve stash. He’s the boss.

3. You try to avoid a temper tantrum by not telling your four-year-old that your husband and you are going to a baseball game for a date. When he asks where you are going, you reply, “It’s a surprise” to which he replies, “But I’m not going to be there! How can I be surprised?”

2. Your four-year-old still knows who ran for president from both parties in the last election; meanwhile, it takes you three chances to call your children by the correct name.

1. When your four-year-old asks his daddy if the foot he is holding up is his left foot, your husband holds up his own thumb and forefinger on each hand to see which one makes the ‘L’ shape.

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Ten Indications that Your Husband is Away on Business for the Week

10. 15 minutes after stumbling out of bed, you catch your son sucking down Infant Tylenol–you know, the one with the child-proof cap.

9. You run down the stairs dressed but in bedroom slippers with your make-up half done in order to take out the trash, hoping to catch the garbage truck as it loops back around–a job your husband normally does when he is in town.

8. When you come back inside, you find that your daughter has the other half of your make-up on her face…and the new carpet.

7. Before the day is half over, you already are searching for the Superglue to fix the first broken object of the day.

6. None of the three children takes a nap today.

5. You get to clean pee off the kitchen counter (yes, you just read ‘pee’ and ‘kitchen counter’ in the same sentence).

4. You discover you CAN remove red permanent marker from the inside of a white cabinet if you scrub with all the fury you can muster from inside your worn-down soul.

3. You utter a prayer to God asking Him to help you find patience and be a better mother at least two times more than you do on a typical day.

2. Your baby runs a fever and clings to your legs all day, as you are pretty sure she picked this particular week to start teething again on purpose.

1. At the end of the night, your blood pressure is 2138/2078.

1 day down, 4 more to go….

For more top ten lists, visit oh amanda and her weekly top ten lists where I have ‘linked up’ this week! Thanks to thegypsymama for letting me in on the fun!