Tag: kids

A Post Regarding Sleep Etiquette

I know I have written about different sleep issues before, but I feel a pressing need to compile a list of rules regarding sleep in one post.  Here goes:

10. Dear child, if your bedtime is 7:30, you should not be awake at 11:30, especially when your mother’s bedtime is 10.

9. Children, your beds are for you.  Daddy and Mommy’s bed is for us (as in the two of us). Barring a nightmare or sickness, please stay out of our bed.  If one of the three of you feel the need to break this rule, please, please, please, no one else join that sibling.

8. Sweet child, if you feel the need to break the previous rule, please do not drink the glass of water on my nightstand.  I was very disappointed when I awoke thirsty and found my drink stolen.

7. Big boy, if you decide to get in our bed, please do not step on my head.

6. My precious children, please learn to sleep in the vertical position.  By the vertical position, I mean that you need to sleep with your head on a pillow.  That pillow needs to remain at the head of the bed.  The top part.  The part against the wall.  Near the windows in our room.  Your feet should not touch me.  At all.  Ever.  Your legs should not cross over my body in any way.  Your body should make a straight or slightly curvy line so that your feet are in the direction of the foot of the bed. If you remain in your own bed, I do not care if you sleep sideways or upside down like you did last night .

5.  My dear children, the previous rule is very important if two or more of you are in our bed.  However, if you break that rule, please refrain from pushing off of my back with the balls of your feet.  This rule also applies to my hip bone or any other part of my body.

4. Baby girl, stop snoring.

3. Kiddos, leave the covers alone!

2. Precious ones, please refrain from grinding your teeth.  The Bible says that in hell people gnash their teeth, so when I hear whatever sound you’re making coupled with the agony that my body feels because of the strange positions in which you sleep, I start to get a little freaked out.

1. And finally, dear husband, do not hit snooze more than twice. After that point, I might throw your alarm out the window. (I know that point didn’t apply to this morning, but I thought it worth mentioning)

Linking up to Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday today.  I hope to write a more thoughtful post about Christmas tomorrow. That is, if I get some sleep.

Top Ten {Tuesday}

When Your Efforts Feel Like a Waste

Sometimes your efforts feel like a waste.

Maybe your plans for productivity after waking up early were thwarted by a child who woke up even earlier…

Maybe your sacrifice of leaving work two hours early for your spouse was met by two hours of bumper-to-bumper traffic…

Maybe the hours you spent in the kitchen, swatting away children who kept appearing at your ankles, were for nothing when you left one of the bags with your accomplishment on the kitchen floor…

And maybe the time and love you put into a giant cookie cake was met with the disappointing news of school closing for the day…

and all of your plans and good intentions instead felt like a giant waste.

But in that moment, you had a choice because there’s always a choice.

Maybe you griped and complained how you’re never cut a break and don’t get the help that you need…

Maybe you pounded your fists on the steering wheel, and your body tensed as your mind anticipated the chaos awaiting you at home…

Or maybe you took a deep breath and savored the smell of the garlic you chopped and the lemons you squeezed in a friend’s kitchen, enjoying more the company of friends than the improvised dish you were making…

And maybe you looked in two very disappointed eyes and knew that there was only one course of action to take…

so you had cookie cake for breakfast.

Because even though the change of plans seemed a little strange at first,

it wasn’t long before you realized that sometimes a change in plans

represents a chance for new memories that taste oh-so-sweet.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland (Isaiah 43:19, New International Version, 2010).


When was a time that your improvisations made for a sweet memory? How do you cope when you feel like your efforts have been wasted?  Share below for this ‘Focus On It Friday.’

A Parable

There once was a mother who could be heard repeating the same phrases daily:

“Stop picking your nose! You’re going to get sick!”

“Wash your hands after you use the bathroom!  It’ll keep you from getting sick!”

“Eat your vegetables so you grow up healthy and strong–you don’t want to get sick!”

One Thanksgiving week this mother who always washed her hands got sick.

The same day she caught a stomach bug her husband who never picked his nose got sick.

The night before Thanksgiving a certain uncle who only ate organic food got sick.

Thanksgiving night the sweet aunt who picked up the mother’s children while wearing a mask (no kidding) when the mother was sick got sick.

Guess which turkeys didn’t get sick?

Moral of the story:  Mommies don’t know everything.

If Mommy Takes a Sick Day

If Mommy decides to take a sick day and sleeps ten more minutes,

then her daughter will decide to play dress-up in her closet.

She will try on every skirt and all the pants that Mommy owns.

After she tries on all the clothes, she will notice that she isn’t wearing any shoes,

so of course, she will pull out Mommy’s ankle-height black boots.

Wearing these boots will make her feel very grown up,

so she will set out to do some grown up things.

First, she will make sure her brother and sister accompany her downstairs

while her mommy throws up in the toilet.

When she gets downstairs, she will realize that Mommy always makes breakfast,

and since she looks like Mommy in her boots, she will get some.

She will first have to push a chair to the refrigerator so she can get the friendship bread and cookies ‘hidden’ on top.

While she is getting breakfast for everyone, she notices the pack of 10,000 stickers and the stamp pads that she just got as a gift.

She decides they must have arts and crafts after breakfast.

Looking at her stickers makes her want scissors so she can cut her stickers into 1,000,000,000 tiny pieces.

Looking at her scissors makes her brother want to cut her hair.

Luckily, Mommy finishes throwing up in time (she hopes).

If Mommy takes a sick day,

then Aunt Lisa normally offers to take the kids away.  And she does.

And if Aunt Lisa takes the kids away,

then Grammy and Papa Joe normally let the kids spend the night.

And if the kids are gone,

then Mommy can throw up and try to rest on her sick day in peace

and leave the clothes and friendship bread crumbs and 1,000,000,000 sticker pieces until tomorrow.

Which she does.

And when tomorrow comes,

Mommy cleans up all the clothes and friendship bread crumbs and 1,000,000,000 sticker pieces.

If Mommy is feeling well enough to clean,

then the kids have to come home.

And if the kids come home,

then they will drive her crazy.

But after they drive her crazy,

they will go to bed.

But to get back at her for sending them away,

the baby will wake up at four and six, and the daughter who likes to dress up will come in her bed before Mommy’s ready to wake up.

And after all the throwing up, and cleaning up, and waking up,

Mommy decides she needs to sleep ten more minutes.

Inspired by Laura Numeroff’s “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” and other children’s books.

Why I Was Late

Since having children, I have had a tendency to show up five minutes late everywhere, and this year I decided, no more!  I will not be that person!  However, I am still that person but not for a lack of trying.  And for all of those mothers who are on time everywhere and don’t understand mothers like me–I don’t know what to say.  I can only throw my hands up in the air and question, “Maybe tomorrow?”.  However, perhaps if I explain a morning like yesterday’s, I’ll receive a little grace from those who want to condemn me and my lateness.

6:00: Alarm goes off.  I hit snooze (Okay, that may have been my first mistake, but give me a break!  I still got up at 6:10–it’s pitch black outside!).

6:10: Go to the bathroom, wash my face, put in contacts

6:15: Pray, read my Bible

6:45: Begin working on my blog

7:10: Caleb and Chloe simultaneously wake up.  (Darn.  I had one more paragraph to write. I was going to stop at 7:15, anyway.  Now two kids are up before I’m dressed.  I am sunk).

7:12: Instruct Caleb to get dressed. Go to wake up Hannah Grace

7:15: Change Chloe’s diaper, get her dressed.  See Caleb doing karate in the hallway, ask him if he’s dressed.  Haven’t seen Hannah Grace emerge, know she must be lying on her floor doing nothing.

7:20: Redirect Caleb. Go in Hannah Grace’s room to tell her again it’s time to put on the clothes we picked out the night before. (See?  Organization!).

7:25: Give Chloe some books to read. Begin getting dressed myself. Caleb runs in my room, informing me he’s dressed.  Redirect Caleb to make his bed.

7:30: Stop getting myself ready when I realize the baby is no longer reading in her room.  Walk past Hannah Grace’s room where she is still lying on her floor half naked.  Redirect her

7:32: Make it downstairs to where Chloe has pushed a chair to the counter and is trying to get a banana.  Notice all the aluminum foil she unrolled and the dog food she has spilled all over the floor

7:35: Go back upstairs with unhappy baby. Go past Hannah Grace’s room where she is still half naked, lying on her floor.  Redirect Hannah Grace

7:38: Attempt to get ready again.

7:40: Stop getting dressed to yell at Caleb who has found his Daddy’s screwdriver (the tool, not his morning beverage).  Ask Caleb if he made his bed.  He says, “yes” and has, in fact, made his bed.  Check on Hannah Grace who is still half naked on her floor.  Redirect her.

7:45: Attempt to get ready again.

7:50: Put Caleb in time out for tackling one of his sisters.

7:55: Finish getting ready, check on Hannah Grace who is still half-naked, lying on her floor.  Inform Hannah Grace that we are about to go downstairs and that naked people do not eat at my table.  No shoes, no shirt, no service.  Again point out the clothes that we picked out the night before. (At this point I debate if I should just dress her myself.  I decide, ‘no,’ she’s just being defiant and wants me to dress her, and I will stick to my ‘No naked breakfast’ policy)

8:00: Fix Caleb and Chloe’s hair and am ready to do Hannah Grace’s but notice she is still lying on the floor half-naked.  Remind her again of the breakfast policy. Go to my own room to quickly make bed, grab water and cell phone off nightstand.

8:15: Hannah Grace notices the three of us are going downstairs to eat, so she begins to get dressed.  Tell Caleb to get on shoes located in the shoe basket next to the door (More proof that I’m not completely disorganized).

8:20: Serve everyone breakfast, pass out vitamins.

8:23: Grab Chloe’s shoes to put on while she’s in the high chair. Notice the socks that I put on her are no longer on her feet.  Remember seeing Hannah Grace taking off Chloe’s socks during one of the visits to her room when she was lying half-naked on her floor.  Go find Chloe’s socks.

8:25: Put on Chloe’s shoes. Begin to clean up aluminum foil and dog food mess Chloe made previously.

8:30: Give the five-minute warning announcing that breakfast is over soon.  Gather toothbrushes and toothpaste.

8:35: Announce breakfast is over, and tell kids to put their bowls in the sink.  Get bookbags and jackets off of hooks hanging by the door. (I’m really impressing myself with all of this organization)

8:37: Notice that no one has stopped eating; fall into panic mode.  Announce loudly that all bowls need to go in the sink

8:38: Caleb takes a last drink of milk and spills half of it down his shirt.  Hannah Grace grabs her bowl off of the table and spills all of her remaining milk on the floor.  Think to myself that whoever came up with the saying “There’s no use crying over spilt milk” didn’t clean up spilt milk every day.

8:40: Caleb, Hannah Grace, and I clean up spilt milk.

8:45: Everyone brushes teeth.  I grab Chloe and tell everyone to grab jackets and backpacks and head to the car. Then I notice two children who don’t have on shoes.  (Didn’t we already put on shoes?)

8:50: Kids put on their shoes

8:55: Once again, tell kids to grab jackets and backpacks and head out door with strict orders to go straight to car seats and buckle up.

8:55 and 30 seconds: Hannah Grace stops and says, “Oh, look! Leaves!” and begins to waste time admiring the leaves on the ground.

8:58: Finish buckling Chloe who has decided she no longer likes being confined by a car seat.  She perfects the ‘stiff-as-a-board’ body position. Get ready to pull out of driveway.  Look in rearview mirror and see unbuckled daughter in the back seat.

9:00: Begin buckling oldest daughter in the back who then has tantrum because she wants to buckle herself (except she didn’t from 8:55-9:00).

9:03: Leave for preschool (Carpool runs from 9:00–9:10)

9:09: Arrive at carpool.  Kiss children goodbye with clenched jaw and open door for teacher to get them.  Teacher notifies me we are missing a backpack.

9:10: My brain explodes, and then I head home to get a certain little girl’s backpack.

Ten Clues Halloween Was This Past Weekend

10. Your four-year-old decided his new bedtime was 9:45, yet he happily awoke for you at 6:30 a.m..

9. Your three-year-old has had a sugar-induced meltdown for a straight 24 hours.

8. You found your paranoid son sleeping with his bag of treats.

7. You’re pretty sure your toddler has never had candy, yet you noticed her walking around the house with a lollipop hanging out of her mouth and three packages of M&Ms.

6. There’s a carved pumpkin sitting outside of your door that very well could sit there until Thanksgiving.

5. You discovered your little girl on top of the refrigerator looking for the hidden Halloween candy.

4. You then located your daughter ‘hiding’ under the dining room table eating some of this candy.  She has yet to understand that you can totally see her under that table.

3. You turned into a a crotchety old person over the weekend, grumbling about children who don’t say ‘thank you’ and teenagers who still dress up to ‘steal’ your candy.

2. You are normally an honest person, but you have taken to catching your children in the act of sneaking their treats so that you can eat whatever you confiscate.

1. You saw the cutest cowboy, cat, and butterfly in existence and have taken every opportunity to show everyone that you know (or don’t know).

I’ve linked up at Ohamanda’s Top Ten Tuesday.  Click over with me for more fun!

Top Ten {Tuesday}

Grocery Bags and Construction Paper

When Caleb was seven months old, I didn’t take him to the pumpkin patch to snap some Halloween pictures.  At the time, I didn’t realize that I had violated some law for what mothers are supposed to do with their children, but I was informed of that fact after Halloween had come and gone without a cute pumpkin picture of my son.  Nowhere in my house is there a separate section for arts and crafts supplies complete with a stash of those googly eyes and various buttons necessary to create animals and insects for any occasion.  And my daughters will never have matching frilly hair bows with darling pillowcase dresses unless someone gives them such a present.

When it comes to creativity, arts and crafts, anticipating projects for the upcoming holiday season, or anything along those lines, I have failed.  It’s not so much that I’m against projects; it’s simply that my mind would never even think to do some of the artsy projects other parents undertake. And I had started to get a little insecure about my inability to ‘create’ with my children.

The other day I was at the store when I noticed a huge display of plastic pumpkin pails intended for children to store their Halloween candy.  I grabbed three remembering how I didn’t remember the last two years when the kids had to throw their candy from the Fall Festival in the bottom of our stroller.  Suddenly, out of the blue, my mind had an ingenious idea–we’ll make our own bags!  Okay, I’ll be honest; I didn’t get this idea in a quest for creativity.  I simply didn’t want to spend money on three pails and then find a place to keep those bulky pumpkins after Halloween was over.

That afternoon, I set out two little grocery bags for Caleb and Hannah Grace, and I drew a pumpkin for each of them on a piece of orange construction paper.  They were so excited and focused as they sat at the kitchen table ready to begin their project. The kids colored and cut and then glued their pumpkins on the bags, and as I watched and helped them work, I felt a little ashamed.  Maybe if my mind worked this way, if I thought about crafts to do ahead of time, I could give them something better.  I pushed away the thought as we put the finishing touches on the bags.

While I picked up scraps of paper from the floor, the kids admired their work until Caleb suddenly spoke:

“Thank you, Mommy,” he said.

On his own, without any encouragement from me, he offered his thanks.  And I knew from the sound of his voice that he wasn’t merely thanking me for the bag–he was thanking me for thirty minutes we spent together creating–creating pumpkin bags and a memory that will last longer.

Caleb then made his way across the kitchen to where I was crouched on the floor and put his arms around me.  “I love you,” he gently spoke, and my heart melted. Any insecurities I was feeling were immediately washed away.

Caleb didn’t care that our craft didn’t involve fabric and a hot glue gun–he doesn’t want any of those frills–he just wants me.

I had to write about this moment because I know how easily I will forget; I will forget that my children don’t need paper mache and glitter.  They need something more precious–me, my attention–and they will take all they can get of it, even if my attention comes bearing paper grocery bags.

For what can you be thankful on this ‘Focus On It Friday’?

Really Good Cookies

The morning was off to a bad start.  I had gotten up at 6:00 with the hopes of having an hour of undisturbed time, so of course, Caleb decided to wake up ten minutes later.  By 6:30 two out of the three were awake, and by 6:45, everyone had joined me.  Any morning when the kids wake up before I get dressed is challenging because I can’t monitor their progress.  Such was the case on this particular morning.

Caleb had actually cooperated and dressed and made his bed quickly.  I got Chloe ready and then headed back to my room to focus on myself.  While everyone else was getting ready, Hannah Grace proceeded to lie around on her floor naked, not doing anything productive to get ready for preschool.  In between getting Chloe and myself dressed, I uttered quite a few warnings to Hannah Grace that she needed to put on some clothes but to no avail.

Finally, I was dressed and headed over to the uncooperative child’s room.  She was still naked, her clothes lying on the floor, and my patience was worn thin, which was unfortunate since it was only 7:30, and I had a whole lot of the day left. At this point I decided that we were not going to wait for Hannah Grace; I would dress her myself.

As I started to put on her underwear, she began to kick and scream.  We were all witnessing an early morning temper tantrum.  Each time I would get her leg in a hole, she would kick off the clothing.  My patience that was worn thin was now held together by one thread, and that thread was in danger of snapping.

As I was getting more forceful, she was fighting harder.  We were having a battle of wills, and I was determined not to lose, not to a three-year-old, and not on this morning.  I had gotten up at 6:00 so I could have time to pray for patience; if they were going to mess up that routine, they would have to deal with the consequences!

We both were struggling, and the screaming and crying continued.  Hannah Grace pulled out the last weapon she had: “I don’t love you anymore, Mommy!  And I don’t love Chloe, and I don’t love Caleb, and I don’t love, Daddy!”

Caleb, who had been witnessing this whole ordeal with his sister Chloe, didn’t miss a beat: “Well, I guess that means were going to have to give you away.”

I was not expecting that response.

“No, Caleb, we’re not going to have to give Hannah Grace away,” I chimed in, rather unemotionally.

“Well, if she doesn’t love anybody anymore, than we have to give her away!” he insisted.

I was struck at how silent the room had gotten; Caleb had scared Hannah Grace out of her tantrum!

Again, I assured them, “We are not going to give Hannah Grace away.”

There was a moment of silence, and Caleb pondered his next point.  He looked directly at Hannah Grace and delivered his line with full passion:

“Mommy makes really good cookies!”

As if that fact should be the one to change her mind about not loving me!

But it worked.  Caleb knew exactly what to say, if for nothing else, to keep my last thread of patience in tact. While I kept a straight face, I was laughing hysterically inside.  What is going on in this four-year-old’s mind?!!

I proceeded to hug Hannah Grace, to tell her how much I loved her and our family.  I explained how she hurt my feelings when she said she didn’t love me, but I would always love her.  I knew that she was a really good girl, and I suggested that we get dressed so we could brush her hair and then go down for breakfast.

This little girl who had kicked and screamed two minutes earlier was now calm and obedient.  She dressed, and I braided her hair without a fight.  The morning had been salvaged, thanks to the comments of a precocious little boy.

That is, the morning had been salvaged until that little boy tackled his sister to the ground for an orange vitamin.  And even though we were up three hours before preschool started, we were still late.  Thankfully, I hadn’t used my last thread of patience upstairs.

God knows what we need, and I am so thankful for that moment to laugh, to gain a little perspective before blowing my top.  For what are you thankful this week?

Overcoming Shyness

Sometimes God gives us a gift, a glimpse into His character on this side of heaven.  I received that gift a few days ago.

As I parked the car, my son immediately noticed that she didn’t look quite right; there was something different about her, and her differences made him uncomfortable.  I had wondered if Caleb would notice.  As far as I knew, my children had never met anyone mentally challenged before, and this young women had suffered from many physical and mental disabilities since birth, leaving her soul in the body of a woman but with the mind of a child.

Caleb and I got out of the car, and as we neared this woman, Caleb whispered, “Mommy, I’m shy.”  “You can be shy,” I assured him, “but you still need to be polite. I bet it would make *Linda happy if you said, ‘hello.'”  I didn’t push the issue as Caleb walked glued to my leg, and I said my own ‘hello’ to Linda.

Hannah Grace had come out to meet us, and she, too, had a case of ‘shyness.’ We all walked inside the house, Linda following after us, and eventually we made our way upstairs to play. Caleb was enthralled with a race track that had a loop and spent the majority of his time with his cousin trying to get his car to successfully complete this loop.  Hannah Grace and Chloe moved from one toy to the next while Linda looked on in the doorway with a smile, happy to observe the children’s play.  My sister prompted her to come in the room with the kids, but Linda was content where she was.

The children continued in their fun when all of sudden Caleb looked up and said, “Hey, Linda, watch this!” and he gave his car a hard push around the track.  Hannah Grace, following her brother’s example, then exclaimed, “Linda, watch this!” as she attempted a somersault. Linda beamed from the doorway.  Chloe, in her own typical fashion, hung around Linda’s legs, looking up sweetly singing, ‘hi!’ and now I had my turn to beam. In their own ways, my kids had started conversations with Linda, had attempted to include her in their play.

I had heard once before that children don’t see color when looking at another person.  I know this idea is not true–my son at around the age of two or three asked me why his babysitter has brown skin when ours is white–and I know now that children do pick up on differences in mental and physical ability, too.  Children notice differences–they are not stupid–they just don’t let them matter.

I have had my own instances of shyness, and I know other adults struggle with how to act when they are uncomfortable, but I saw firsthand how to overcome this disability–just start the conversation, include the other person in my play.

My hope for my children is that as they grow older, they won’t let their shyness inhibit their ability to include others.  They will let their compassionate hearts lead them and start the conversation, whether it be with the elderly, those with special needs, the poor, or those of a different race, religion, or sexual orientation.

Christ wasn’t afraid to start those conversations with others or include them in His life; He didn’t suffer from shyness.  And I’m thankful to my children for showing me that I don’t need to suffer from it, either.

*the young woman’s name was changed for this post