A Post Regarding Sleep Etiquette

I know I have written about different sleep issues before, but I feel a pressing need to compile a list of rules regarding sleep in one post.  Here goes:

10. Dear child, if your bedtime is 7:30, you should not be awake at 11:30, especially when your mother’s bedtime is 10.

9. Children, your beds are for you.  Daddy and Mommy’s bed is for us (as in the two of us). Barring a nightmare or sickness, please stay out of our bed.  If one of the three of you feel the need to break this rule, please, please, please, no one else join that sibling.

8. Sweet child, if you feel the need to break the previous rule, please do not drink the glass of water on my nightstand.  I was very disappointed when I awoke thirsty and found my drink stolen.

7. Big boy, if you decide to get in our bed, please do not step on my head.

6. My precious children, please learn to sleep in the vertical position.  By the vertical position, I mean that you need to sleep with your head on a pillow.  That pillow needs to remain at the head of the bed.  The top part.  The part against the wall.  Near the windows in our room.  Your feet should not touch me.  At all.  Ever.  Your legs should not cross over my body in any way.  Your body should make a straight or slightly curvy line so that your feet are in the direction of the foot of the bed. If you remain in your own bed, I do not care if you sleep sideways or upside down like you did last night .

5.  My dear children, the previous rule is very important if two or more of you are in our bed.  However, if you break that rule, please refrain from pushing off of my back with the balls of your feet.  This rule also applies to my hip bone or any other part of my body.

4. Baby girl, stop snoring.

3. Kiddos, leave the covers alone!

2. Precious ones, please refrain from grinding your teeth.  The Bible says that in hell people gnash their teeth, so when I hear whatever sound you’re making coupled with the agony that my body feels because of the strange positions in which you sleep, I start to get a little freaked out.

1. And finally, dear husband, do not hit snooze more than twice. After that point, I might throw your alarm out the window. (I know that point didn’t apply to this morning, but I thought it worth mentioning)

Linking up to Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday today.  I hope to write a more thoughtful post about Christmas tomorrow. That is, if I get some sleep.

Top Ten {Tuesday}

6 thoughts on “A Post Regarding Sleep Etiquette

  1. Hope you get some sleep tonight! We don't have this problem at the moment but used to co-sleep with our daughter until she decided the bed was a place to jump on instead of sleep. Thankfully she never protested sleeping in her own bed but I'm sure there will be some visits from her once she migrates to a big girl bed!

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  2. #2 cracked me up!

    Cute Top 10.

    My girls are 9 years apart. My oldest daughter slept with us until the younger one was born. She moved to her own room FINALLY and the youngest one still sleeps with us. If we could someone figure out a double king size we would so do it. We love the family bed – USUALLY. Hahaha!!!

    Happy New Year!

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    1. Thanks for commenting on my post! We've never officially done the co-sleeping thing, but Matt and I have always said that we wouldn't send our kids back to their rooms if they came in our beds. They're only little once! However, I really wish they would sleep normally! ;)________________________________________

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  3. When I first read this post on its actual post date, 12/28, I had just woken from a less than perfect night w/ one of my offspring!! I was so blurry eyed and shocked at the timing of this post, I was unable to form any sort of reasonable comment!

    LOL! 🙂

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    1. Matt cursed me for writing this post because that very night, Chloe learned to climb out of her crib. We had her in bed with us and had to endure her poking us in the face, laughing, and generally NOT sleeping. And of course, Hannah Grace came in at 5:30 that morning, wide awake. I don't think we've had many good nights since I wrote that post! :)________________________________________

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