Top Ten Statements You Don’t Want to Hear During a Haircut

It’s been a while since I’ve done a top ten list, but after yesterday, I knew it was time to start creating again.

My sister started training at a well-respected hair design school, but, before she finished her coursework, she decided cosmetology was not for her. As a result, she doesn’t have her license to cut hair. However, I took a gamble yesterday. I didn’t want to pay for an expensive haircut this month, so asked Lisa if she felt comfortable doing my hair. After all, she dyes it for me frequently, and besides the one hair disaster, she does a great job. Lisa agreed, said she felt confident with the picture I showed her, and, therefore, I felt confident–that is, until I heard the following ten statements during the process of my haircut:

10. It’s really hard to cut hair without a swivel chair.

9. Shh! I can’t have any noise.

8. I need to stop for a minute and breathe in a paper bag. It’s not your hair; I’m just feeling really panicky.

7. *Expletive*

6. Argh. Your hair is so hard to cut–it shows every mistake.

5. Well, I don’t think this is the worst haircut you’ve ever gotten….

The picture I gave my sister was of Carey Mulligan in the movie Drive. Enter brother-in-law to offer his two cents:

4. I don’t know if you look like Carey Mulligan. You look more like Keanu Reeves in Point Break. 3. Mason: “Where’s the picture you were using?”

Lisa: “I don’t know…I don’t even remember what it looks like anymore.”

2. I give up

1. Mason: No, Lisa, cut here. It’ll look like you are trying to do what you did on that side.

Despite the terror I felt during the process, I’m pretty pleased with the end result. Thanks, Lisa!

What’s the craziest thing you heard during a haircut?

7 thoughts on “Top Ten Statements You Don’t Want to Hear During a Haircut

  1. You look adorable! I cut my own hair a few weeks ago and then, because I was not dumb enough the first time, I gave myself layers. It looks fine, I think. The craziest thing I ever heard during a haircut came out of my own mouth while cutting Matt's hair: "oops." (I think I wrote a blog about it but I can't remember….) I put a hole in the back of his head.

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  2. Lisa did a very good job. It looks very cute. I'm surprized you didn't need to color the gray hair that grew, just from the conversation you were having during the haircut. At least you didn't have the mirror in front of you that goes along with the swivel chair. It all worked out and looks adorable on you!!!

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  3. I think it looks much better than Keanu's. Seriously, you look GOOD! I'm going to let her take the scissors to mine next week.

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  4. I laughed throughout this entire post because I can picture Lisa saying each one of these statements. I can picture her getting frustrated and her body language. Despite the scary conversation that took place, the cut suits you! I like it! 🙂

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  5. it does look great! i actually buzzed my husband's hair yesterday and he decided his least favorite thing to hear while i'm cutting his hair is, "oops."

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