The Conversation

I woke up the other day with a heavy heart.  My husband had left for a week-long business trip, and I already missed him.  I was tired from many days of going without rest, and many nights of turning out the lights a little too late.

I began to pray because I knew that I would need the kindness of God to help me this day; I would need his patience and compassion as I dealt with my kids on a day when I had none of my own.  If the past were any indication of what this week would look like, the kids would test the limits, and I would go to bed feeling regret for losing my temper, especially since I felt so tired already.  I prayed  for wisdom and strength in my parenting and for them, and then I moved on to pray for Matt.

As I started to pray for my husband to have a safe trip, I also prayed for forgiveness.  I had said something the night before that I shouldn’t have said, or at least should have waited to say until we had the time to converse. Immediately upon praying, I felt God say to call him right then.  I paused but continued praying asking for Matt to do well on his trip, but again, I felt God say to my spirit, “Stop praying, and call your husband.”

I felt weird abandoning my prayer, walking away from the God of the universe, but I grabbed my cell phone and called Matt.  Matt answered, and I could hear in the background that his flight was boarding–I caught him just in time.  After I apologized, Matt admitted that my words had really upset him, and hearing him say so pierced my heart.  True to his nature, Matt offered kindness and forgiveness as I cried over the phone.

I thought to myself, “What if I hadn’t called right then?”  Matt would’ve left for this trip with a heavy heart, an unnecessary burden as he tried to do his job to the best of his ability. And I immediately thanked God for interrupting my prayer.

This past Sunday during my small group I had shared that prayer was my weakness.  I pray many times during the day, but I don’t always feel that it comes naturally to me.  I tend to recite a list–a list of thanks, concerns, contritions, and then ‘amen.’  I wanted to learn how to take part in a conversation instead of a list; I wanted to learn how to listen.

And true to the nature of God, always bestowing more kindness on me than I deserve, He showed me that I do know how to listen.  I am capable of having a conversation with Him.  But more importantly, God showed me that when I get carried away with my list, He’s not afraid to interrupt.

For this ‘Focus on it Friday,’ I am thankful for a God who knows how to get my attention and who is more interested in relationship than formality. For what are you thankful?  Leave a comment or a link to your own post below!

18 thoughts on “The Conversation

  1. I am thankful to have a God who listens to me, even when I don't pray enough. And I'm thankful that His Spirit still directs me as well (if only I would listen more).
    What you have expressed happens so much in marriage! It's too easy to blurt something out, then let life interrupt before you have a chance to discuss or revisit it. Not only did it take a soft heart to hear the Holy Spirit, but it took humility to call and apologize. I know I always feel better after "doing the right thing". Hope you're feeling less of a burden too after having talked to Matt – so now you can do your job better too!

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    1. Thank you for the encouraging comment, and thank you for participating on Fridays. I always love to read your thanks, as well!

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    2. Thank you for the encouraging comment, and thank you for participating on Fridays. I always love to read your thanks, as well!

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  2. I love your honesty and willingness to share your being. You may not realize

    how many people relate to your posts. And, this is a good reminder about listening more to the Holy Spirit . I’m still haunted by times when i didn’t. I’m pretty sure God was really happy to read your post, too.:)

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. I'm finding that we all have more in common than we'd sometimes like to admit…no one has it all together!

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    2. Thank you, Lisa. I'm finding that we all have more in common than we'd sometimes like to admit…no one has it all together!

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