The Heart of the Matter

Uncategorized 4 Minutes

In honor of Mother’s Day, I am linking up with Lisa-Jo, a.k.a. the Gypsy Mama, to explore why moms matter. If you haven’t already, I highly encourage you to visit her website.  Not only is Lisa-Jo an incredible writer, but she has wonderful insight into pursuing a relationship with God.  You will be blessed by your encounter!

I know full and well the importance of Mom.  When I taught high school, I watched teenaged girls crumble under the weight of their grief after the loss of their mothers, unable to focus on schoolwork, maybe just not caring.  After all, how did Language Arts even compare to a day without their mothers?  I remember a friend from college who went to the doctor every time he had the slightest cold; his mother had died from cancer when he was 13.  And even after 16 years without my Nana, I see the longing in my own mom’s eyes when she talks of her mother.

Some friends share delightful stories of their mothers, while others are consumed with bitterness for the wounds their mothers created.  No matter the story, all have a place in their hearts that wants to hold fond memories and affection for the women who bore them.

My youngest just turned one.  Lately, I have spent a lot of time looking back over the past year, and I find many moments of ambivalence. In one moment I love deeply as my baby lay her head on my chest, the next I struggle to suppress the desire to yell at my children in frustration.  In one moment, I thank God for the gift of my new daughter, the next I question why we ever thought having three kids in three years was a good idea.  I look at my writings from the past year, many used as a method to unburden my soul and work through my own guilty feelings, equally as many filled with smiles as I laughed at the follies of myself and my children.

When I think about this past year, there is so much I want to do over. I don’t want my children to remember me losing control, not showing them tenderness and patience. I want the day I die to be filled with tears over losing the mother who created the delightful stories, not the mother who created the wounds that never healed.  Yet every time I find myself dwelling too long in guilt and despair, the kindness of God softly nudges me like a cool breeze, prompting me to move away from that place that He did not create for me.

This week, I searched my mind for why moms matter, and writing from the perspective of a daughter, I could fill pages and pages of why my mom matters to me. However, I had a much harder time writing from the perspective of the one who matters.  Why do I matter?  And because I couldn’t answer without falling into that place of guilt, God spent time with me so that I could answer this question.

When God chose to save humanity, He did so through His Son, Jesus.  Most of what we know about Jesus is from the start of His ministry when He was around the age of 30.  God’s plan could have started with this God-Man sent from heaven at age 30, dropped in the middle of the desert, suddenly appearing before John the Baptist to get baptized. Yet we know Mary carried Jesus in her womb, conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, fulfilling numerous prophesies about the Messiah.

I don’t pretend to know the mind of God,why He chose to send Jesus as a baby, but this week I couldn’t stop thinking about Mary.  Whenever I think about Mary, I think about this woman God chose to carry His Son, calm and mild, the perfect mother.  But she wasn’t perfect; she was just chosen.

I wondered if she ever cried herself to sleep at night, overwhelmed by the task put before her.  Did she ever cry simply because she had a bad day with her children? Did she ever wish she spent a little more time hugging and kissing and less time allowing frustration to consume her?

I picture Mary going about her daily tasks while a young Jesus looked on. He saw a hard-working mother, a mother who loved her children and wanted to please God.  He was a recipient of her affection.

And as all children do, Jesus carried a special place in His heart for His mother, so much so that some of His last words on the cross were for Mary, ensuring she was cared for after His death and Resurrection: “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home'” (John 19: 26-27).

I have found comfort in the fact that Jesus belonged to a family.  As God, He already knows everything, yet by coming to Earth and, in the great mystery of our faith, clothing Himself in humanity while not losing His divinity, He experienced the mother-son relationship. He witnessed and received the blessings of a good mother, all the while being the source from whom we receive blessings.

When I find myself discouraged and disheartened, I remember that He knows. I receive strength and comfort knowing that my Lord took on the role of a human, felt the emotions I feel, saw the struggle that mothers have, and tasted the joy–the joy that a mother brings to the heart of her child. That joy is where He wants me to focus.

I may not be perfect, but I, too, have been chosen.  God chose me to be the mother of Caleb, Hannah Grace, and Chloe, a calling I do not take lightly.  It is a calling I am worthy to take because I matter–I matter to God, and I matter to my children.  And when it comes down to it, nothing else really matters.

Happy Mother’s Day.  May God give you the strength to fulfill your calling with peace, joy, and laughter.

Unknown's avatar

Published by jenvdavis

Published

57 thoughts on “The Heart of the Matter”

  1. My dearest Jennifer,
    As your mom, (and Lisa’s) i honestly never felt love so strong and fiercely protective. It is a wonderful GIFT to be a mom.
    i hurt for those who want that title desperately and will never
    experience the joy. i hurt for those who have given up the call to become a mom, through abortion, adoption or leaving their responsibilities; as i’ve learned to never judge, even though understanding is sometimes difficult . Mother’s Day
    for me is bittersweet. Thinking of my mom can always bring a flood of memories and i still miss her more than ever. But,
    i enjoy every moment spent with you, Lisa and my grandbabies . Pr 17:6 ” Children’s children are a crown to the aged and parents are the pride of their children. ”
    Happy Mother’s Day to my first and second born precious daughters.
    Love you always and forever,
    Mom♥

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hmm…my replying by e-mail is acting funny today, so we'll see if another reply pops up later. Anyway, I know what you mean–every Mother's Day I feel a little sad thinking about friends who want to be mothers but haven't been blessed that way, yet. We've both seen God work in very mysterious ways, though! Happy Mother's Day to you! I love you!

      Like

      Reply

  3. Lisa-Jo already said it, but this is my favorite line in your post: "But she wasn’t perfect; she was just chosen." I often forget that Mary must not have been perfect — that she probably had her yelling days, her impatient days, her hair-pulling days! I think too often I place her on a pedestal, when really, she was down here in the trenches with the rest of us!

    I love your post, Jennifer. It really resonated with me, especially in light of what I wrote about Mother's Day today, too. Thank you for visiting and for commenting. It's so nice to meet you!

    Like

    Reply

    2. Michelle, It was nice to meet you as well! After reading different blogs from moms, I'm starting to realize that I'm not alone. That's the strange thing about motherhood–there are days when I feel so lonely and horrible, yet it seems that we all go through this self-doubt. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day! I can tell you have a very special boy looking after you! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  4. Mary wasn't perfect – she was just chosen. Oh, Jennifer, wow – such wise words! Really, those are going to stick with me a long, long time.

    And this "I want the day I die to be filled with tears over losing the mother who created the delightful stories, not the mother who created the wounds that never healed." – yes, me too.

    Thankful to be sharing the journey of motherhood with wise and honest women like you! You matter in every way.

    ~Lisa-Jo

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much! I've really enjoyed your series on motherhood, and I look forward to reading all the other posts from your readers. As always, your writing blessed me!

      Like

      Reply

  5. I love that line too "But she wasn’t perfect; she was just chosen." It gives me encouragement to remember that she wasn't perfect, because I am far from it. I worry because I already know I will not be remembered as the mom who always had dinner on the table on time, who always had a tidy home, who never forgot important things. I've already lost those battles. I hope to be remembered as a mom who was always ready to listen, always there when needed. I tell myself that I was chosen for my two boys because I am what they need, and they are what I need.

    I'm so glad I found your blog! Have a wonderful Mother's Day.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you for the thoughtful comment. I have lost the same battles as you; my struggle is to remember that those battles really aren't worth fighting compared to the more important ones you listed.

      Like

      Reply

  6. First, thanks for your kind words on my blog. 🙂 I, too, enjoy and am encouraged from reading the "real" stuff.

    This post is a case in point. Beautiful. "the kindness of God softly nudges me like a cool breeze, prompting me to move away from that place that He did not create for me." <– I could not have said this any better. Blessings. 🙂

    Like

    Reply

  12. I have never seen such impressive ideas presented in writing. Your writer has a very unique way of presenting information in such a way as to catch the reader’s attention.

    Like

    Reply

  13. Having read this I thought it was very informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this article together. I once again find myself spending way to much time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!

    Like

    Reply

  15. Whats up, I simply hopped over on your site via StumbleUpon. No longer something I might normally learn, however I appreciated your emotions none the less. Thank you for making something price reading.

    Like

    Reply

  17. You lost me, friend. After all, I imagine I am what youre saying. I am aware what you’re saying, however you just seem to have forgotten that you will find other folks inside the world who view this matter for which it happens to be and may even perhaps not accept you. You could be turning away many people who appeared to be lovers of the website.

    Like

    Reply

  18. My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a number of websites for about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform. I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!

    Like

    Reply

  19. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in publishing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your fanciful writing abilities has urged me to start my own blog now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a fine example of it.

    Like

    Reply

  23. You’re possessing complications in your initially dates with women. You simply can not appear to get every thing proper around the first date. Irrespective of whether you’ve been in plenty of relationships or are just beginning your dating lifetime, it is probable that at 1 level you have veteran some trouble heading by means of it all. If you are possessing any dilemmas along with your foremost dates with gals, then perhaps you are just acquiring problems in communicating with your date. I’ve outlined on this web site a plethora of only the best and most helpful field-tested 1st date problems you can use to acquire to learn your date considerably better.

    Like

    Reply

  24. An impressive share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing slightly analysis on this. And he the truth is purchased me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the deal with! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If doable, as you turn into expertise, would you thoughts updating your weblog with more details? It is highly useful for me. Large thumb up for this weblog publish!

    Like

    Reply

  25. I would like to start my own blog one day. This was a really nice blog that you made here. Keep up the success I recently studied the manga to discover if this anime is worth the ballyhoo, and in my opinion it is worth observing. For those who do not read any manga or know anything about it, Bakuman establishes us a peek at the sweat put into producing one, and the tension and uncertainty a mangaka goes through. I feel Bakuman gives a pragmatic survey of what goes on behind the scenes to produce a manga, well as real as it can be given it is Shoujo and they need to move the chronicle to keep it occupying.

    Like

    Reply

  27. It’s a great pleasure to visit your website and to enjoy your excellent work! You have fine ideas. Really looking forward to read more! 🙂

    Like

    Reply

  33. Thank you for taking the time to discuss this particular, Personally i think highly about it and adore understanding more on this topic. If at all possible, while you acquire expertise, can you thoughts updating your site with more info? It is extremely helpful for me.

    Like

    Reply

  40. The next time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to learn, however I really thought youd have something fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you possibly can fix if you happen to werent too busy searching for attention.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to first date questions Cancel reply