Quality of Life

Typically, I write blog posts about my crazy kids or my struggles.  My hope for my blog is that I can unleash my tension through writing and also help other women in the process.  When God teaches me something important, I want to pass on the information so you can see how good He is. When my kids make me feel like I want to jump out a window, I need to focus my frustration somewhere other than on them (although they do get a dose of my frustration, too!) In the moment, I tend to feel that I am the only one who has a kid who would purposely pee on his Grammy, but surely there are others, right?  Umm…maybe not.  I digress.

I wanted to do something different with a series I’m calling “Quality of Life.”  Believe it or not, there are some things I am doing right or at least some efforts for which I am proud.  My hope is to become a better person every day of my life, and there are some deliberate choices I am making in the quest for achieving this goal.

Every week for a few weeks, I plan to write one blog post focused on a typical area where I am trying to improve.  The point of these blogs is not to pat myself on the back or sound preachy but rather to give us an interactive forum.  I want to hear back from you!  What are you doing in this area to make your life better?  If we can glean one tip from each blog or the comments that follow, my hope is that we will all become a little happier and healthier as a result.

What do you say?  Are you in?

Quality of Life 1: Calling All Tree-Huggers!

Quality of Life 2: In Need of Lighter Fluid

Quality of Life 3: Pick Up the Phone

A Little Drizzle

Note to myself:  You actually wrote a good deal of this post last week but were interrupted many times from the kids and life.  Tonight is the first chance you had to finish.  Therefore, the ‘two Sundays ago’ and ‘yesterday’ and all time references aren’t accurate, anymore.  Oh, well.  You weren’t about to do the math to figure out the correct time, and your writing would’ve sounded weird, anyway.  But for the sake of your memory, which isn’t very good, I thought I’d let you know about the inaccuracies.

Two Sundays ago, I remember lying in bed somewhat fearful.  I’m not normally one to get afraid of thunderstorms, but when I saw the lightning strike right below my window and heard the electricity crackle in our outlets, I tensed up.  Caleb had already joined Matt and me in bed and formed a ball beneath our comforter.  I couldn’t see any part of him but would feel him move closer and closer against Matt and me with each pound of thunder that rattled the house. Even the rain was loud, as the storm seemed to intensify with every minute.

At one point in the night, Matt had gotten up to unplug everything in our room, but he was too late.  The next morning, our upstairs air conditioner was broken, and our modem was fried, so I couldn’t use the internet or our house phone.  I felt very inconvenienced and disconnected from the world.  I typically don’t ever have the TV on during the day, and I normally put the radio on in the car when carting kids back and forth to preschool.  Monday is their off day, though, so for most of the day, I was in my own bubble.

I had no idea what the storm was really like–only my perception of the events.  It wasn’t until I spoke with my mom and learned of flooded roads that kept some of her co-workers from getting to work, heard from my husband that Gwinnett county had closed school, and saw pictures the next day of the Scream Machine roller coaster partially submerged in water that I began to understand the true intensity of this horrific thunderstorm.

Then the following day I read an article of a woman’s frantic call to 911 as she was trapped in her car less than a mile from her home.  She was a mother.  I saw another article of a toddler swept by the rushing water from his father’s grasp, a story that would stay with me as I imagined myself trapped in my van with my three children.  Even if I were able to get my windows down in time and the door open, I can’t imagine a happy ending to this story…and my stomach is still in knots as I count my three blessings and think of that poor family grieving their loss, a family who didn’t have to imagine .

It’s amazing how one’s perspective can color an event.  The storm that I found so terrible and frightening and inconvenient paled in comparison to what those around me were experiencing.  Until I saw the damage elsewhere, I didn’t realize how blessed I was to be without air conditioning and a cable modem.  As I moved through that week, the lessons God was teaching me were very apparent.

When Caleb was frightened the night of the storm, he didn’t cry in his room, he didn’t go downstairs and find comfort in a doughnut, and he didn’t turn on the TV.  He came in his parents room and snuggled with his mom and dad.  Yes, he was obviously frightened, but with each strike of lightening and clap of thunder, he moved a little closer to Matt or me.  He found reassurance simply in our presence.

God wants me to do the same.  Whether I am frightened by a little thunder or I can see the flood waters rising, my response should be the same–draw closer to Him.  In doing so, He will give me peace and perspective.  In the midst of my storm, I will be able to find that for which I should be thankful because there is always someone going through something worse, and at the same time, find reassurance that the Lord cares about my struggles, too.  He just wants me to be honest about my struggles with Him.

And as with any lesson the Lord teaches me, He provided a pop-quiz to see what I actually retained….

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Yesterday morning, I managed to get my daughter’s tiny hair claw stuck on my tongue.  I was rushing to get Caleb and Hannah Grace ready for preschool while trying to take care of Chloe, and I actually had a green clip hanging out of my mouth.

“Ha-uh, HOL  SIL  PEAS!” is not what I heard in my head but was what came out of my mouth, as I was trying to keep her from running out of the bathroom.  I still needed to fix her hair (one side of her head already had a clip), so I was squeezing her with my thighs while trying to squeeze the little clip to release it from my tongue.  It was so small, though, and slippery because of my saliva.  I had never felt so ridiculous and knew my tongue would begin bleeding at any moment.  The more I tried to pry it open, the tighter that stupid clip clamped down on my tongue.

Briefly, very briefly, I contemplated asking Caleb to help me, but he would’ve just pulled on the clip with my tongue attached.  I hate to admit it, but I was a little scared.  I was afraid that if I actually succeeded in removing this *cute* hair accessory, I might have a permanent hole in my tongue.  Would pizza ever taste good again?

No sooner than I successfully transferred this demonic hair claw from my mouth to Hannah Grace’s hair, I noticed Chloe’s crying had risen to the next intensity level.  She was across the hall playing in Hannah Grace’s room.  I ran into the room to check on her and noticed she was on her stomach with her head under Hannah Grace’s dresser.  I figured she didn’t know how to roll back out from under the dresser, so I proceeded to help pull her out, except she wasn’t budging.  My baby had gotten her head stuck under her sister’s massive dresser.

I tried to lift the dresser, and it didn’t budge.  I think my heart stopped for a second at that moment.  What in the world was I going to do?  I didn’t even know how long Chloe’s head had been stuck under the dresser, and I was terrified that her skull would get crushed.  And then God gave me the Mom Adrenaline.  I lifted that dresser and was so proud–until I noticed that Chloe was crying too hard to notice and wasn’t rolling away as a cooperative baby should’ve.  Caleb and Hannah Grace were just looking on, probably paralyzed in fear as their mother was in a state of panic.

At this moment I was dumbfounded.  Caleb, my son who has rolled his sister across the floor like a log was just standing there.  “CALEB! ROLL CHLOE OUT!!” I screamed, to which he obliged.

And all was well again.

My heart proceeded to pound out of my chest for the rest of the day, and I was never so ready for bed that night.  Unfortunately, Hannah Grace stayed up until midnight, refusing to sleep in her bed, and Chloe woke up at 1:30 ready to eat.  And again every two hours until morning.

So, I have decided that today I am getting under the covers, curling up into a ball, and resting in my heavenly Father’s arms.  It’s starting to rain outside, and I need a nap.

The Day After September 11th

As I looked at my facebook page throughout the day, I noticed many status updates focusing on what people remembered from this date eight years ago.I, too, am able to recount where I was eight years ago on that dreadful morning–at a new teacher’s conference to be exact–but my thoughts quickly moved on to another topic.  September 12th and all the days after.

How is my life different as a result of 9/11?  Not just longer airport lines and things that are out of my control, but how am I living any differently?

When 9/11 happened, I was only 22, newly engaged and working as a new teacher.  I didn’t have too many problems, so-to-speak.  This September 11, I’m looking back over a really lousy week as a mother of three and wife and evaluating many aspects of my life.  The meaning of 9/11 is hitting me harder now, possibly, than it did eight years ago.

Eight years ago, a husband didn’t come home.  A mother didn’t get to tuck her kids into bed.  A girlfriend didn’t get to experience her wedding night.  A father-to-be didn’t see the birth of his son.

As I thought about September 11th, I didn’t think about the on-going political implications of the tragedy or anything other than how I was living my life.  By the grace of God, I am here to write this blog today and share it with anyone that God also chose to grant another day, and, yet, today could be my last.

Even as I had these thoughts, I continued to figure out how I would win the argument that I would inevitably have at the end of the night.  Honestly, I still don’t feel any better, but I want to.  I want to fully embrace the idea that today could be my last day.

On September 11, 2001, I don’t know if the mother possibly had to hold back tears as she dropped off her smart-aleck teenager at school.  I don’t know if the soon-to-be-Daddy sighed thinking about his crabby wife with swollen feet and all the complaints she’d have for him when he’d walk through the door that evening. But I do know they would each squeeze their loved one a lot harder and a lot longer if they knew it would be their last embrace.

It’s easy for me to remember 9/11.  Unfortunately, it’s also easy for me to forget.