Reasons You Will Not Win Mother-of-the-Year

10. For the second year in a row, you promised to dye Easter eggs with your kids and didn’t get to it.  In order to make up for this failing, you sat your two oldest kids in front of The Ten Commandments at 9:00 P.M. while you boiled some eggs.  Your kids are 4 and 2 -1/2.

9. Your daughter actually DID throw up from eating too much candy on Easter.

8.  After throwing up, she then drove her brother’s Power Wheel into his groin.

7. Forgetting that your children didn’t actually eat their Easter lunch, you did not make dinner.  After all, you weren’t hungry, but you hadn’t thrown up Easter candy, either.

6. You were awoken at 6:00 A.M. by your husband who wanted to show you that a food thief had left the refrigerator open and ham, asparagus, a gallon of milk, and a block of cheese on the floor. Also at the scene of the crime–the identical pink snuggly with which your daughter sleeps. Maybe if you made dinner the night before, your two-year-old wouldn’t have raided the refrigerator in the middle of the night.

5. You didn’t serve your children breakfast until 10:45 A.M.

4. At some point in the morning, your daughter calls, “Mommy, can you help me get off the table?”  At that moment, you realize that your two-year-old has been sitting on the table for a majority of ‘brunch.’

3. Your attempts to get your son to put down the lid to the toilet and flush have failed.

2. Your baby was playing with toilet paper in the toilet.  See previous statement.

1.  Your daughter, who has been potty-trained for months but strong-willed for longer peed on you as you pick her up to take her to the potty.  She then exclaimed, “Peeing is fun!!!”

Alternate titles for this post:

“Reasons You Should Not Host Large Gatherings at Your Home”

“Reasons You Should Take Your Weekend Away from the Family Soon”

16 thoughts on “Reasons You Will Not Win Mother-of-the-Year

  1. This is hysterical! Am glad you are documenting your life with the kids! We all get to share; and I don't think there is a mom on this planet who couldn't relate to most.
    (umm, maybe the peeing incident b/c that is totally HG.)
    love you, Mom


  2. This service is not only aiding a restaurant proprietor add very few orders to his day-to-day reviews, but in lengthy operate really prosperous. Knowledge the alternatives in the digital world with the ability of know-how, it is obvious that lack of expertise has produced some organization owners unaware of their real probable.


  3. You’d excellent good ideas presently there. I did searching on the problem and found almost all peoples will accept your blog. One of the things we learned about was candle producing.


  4. This is a great blog. I’ve been back several times in the last 7-day time period and want to subscribe to your feed by utilizing Google but could not learn how to do it precisly. Do you know of any sort of instructions?


  5. I precisely needed to appreciate you all over again. I’m not certain what I would have implemented in the absence of those recommendations contributed by you over such a problem. Certainly was a very frightful situation in my circumstances, however , taking note of this professional manner you dealt with the issue took me to leap for fulfillment. I am just happier for this help and thus expect you really know what a great job you are always accomplishing educating the rest through your web blog. Most probably you have never come across any of us.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s